My Portland Nightmare

Post contributed by Noah Schmidt

My job recently sent me to Portland, Oregon for a few months. Because it was a temporary move, I lived in an apartment complex that offered corporate housing. This means that everything is basically set up for you. It’s kind of like showing up at a hotel, except without the housekeeping. Although the décor was a little sparse and strange, the apartment wasn’t too bad. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to do any of the setup, like finding Portland wireless internet, home phone, garbage collection, etc…but I was pretty annoyed at the location of my apartment. My company thought it would be great to have me in close proximity to the office, which sounds like a good idea. I didn’t think much of it when they told me that I would be five minutes away from work since I would be spending most of my time at the office anyways. Unfortunately, our office in Portland is in a terrible neighborhood and I was terrified the whole time. The neighborhood was so bad that there weren’t even any decent restaurants or groceries stores around. At night it became deserted. I’m safely back home now and have warned my boss about the dangers of staying in that area of Portland.

Curb Appeal

Authored by Raymond Whitney
My mother-in-law recently sent me an email talking about all the renovations that they are doing to their new house. I love getting email updates about important things but to be quiet honest I could careless about renovations to a house. Should I feel bad for that? I honestly can’t say that I do, I mean I’m a guy. My idea of having a good time is football, eating, going out with the boys; not curb appeal and adding a new flowerbed to the front of the house. I guess I’m happy that she likes me because I know most guys despise their mother-in-laws but for the most part I actually like mine. Plus, the one good thing she did mention in the email was the fact that she recently had satellite TV installed in her house and that she loves it. As soon as I read that I emailed her back letting her know that she had peaked my interest. She instantly told me about direct TV remote and I was instantly hooked. I actually think it was worth reading four paragraphs about home renovations.

Trey's Tris

Guest written by our friend Gladys Fuentes

Trey is a triathlete and I think that’s amazing – I can barely do thirty minutes on the treadmill without passing out! He’s constantly training and though summer is best for the swimming portion he’s still got to do the running and biking too and I worry about him when he’s out there exerting himself in this heat. I know he says he’s fine but the last thing I would want would be for something to happen to him because he pushed himself too far. I make sure he’s always got plenty of water with him and I do a lot to keep him well fed. I also keep the house really cold when I know he’s going to come back, so cold in fact that I had to go to Http://www.shopelectricityratestexas.com because our AC bills were just outrageous! Anyway, Trey is my personal hero and I think the ways he pushes his body are amazing…if only I had that much energy on a daily basis. Nevermind, I wouldn’t know what to do with it!

Capital Adventure

Each year I take myself and the kids down to our nation's capital to enjoy the company of their uncles, who live in the area, and to learn and enjoy our nation's heritage.  It is a little different each year.  The focus of previous years was set on monuments, I tried hard to to have the kids enjoy this year at the Hazy Air and Space Museum, the National Zoo, and of course our annual trip to the ball park with a ride on the metro.

There has been lots of driving with a chance to see the cites surrounding the area such as Georgetown and Arlington.  The kids have enjoyed different sites such as seeing a Turkish Consulate with his Turkish translator while at the grocery store of all places, enjoying the skyline of DC from my brother's balcony and seeing the Marine Corp Marching Band at the Iwo Jima Memorial.

It is odd with all that is around the kids, that the Harry Potter movie was my oldest son's favorite activity, while my youngest son enjoyed the museum and my daughter enjoyed just being at her uncle's house.  To me the yearly vacation marks a week to enjoy my brothers who I normally only get to see around holidays. It is funny when I see them and notice how much more alike we are then I remember, from allergies we have developed, tastes in food and books, and of course the normal subject of talking about relationships.  It leads quite often to typical brotherly insults and love that I know I can't live without.

Overall it is something I wouldn't trade for the world.  If anything, it is a return to the days of my childhood where the joy of being around my brothers cannot be beat.

Over the Border

I am an avid game player as most people know.  Being one has helped me expand the amount of people I know on a global scale.  I have talked almost daily at some point to people in Japan, Mexico, Venezuela, Australia, and other countries across the globe.  Because of the tight community of gamers that I am apart of, I have gotten to know quite a few of these people on a personal level instead of just inside a virtual reality.  The few online gaming friends I have met were mostly from the US, however I have gotten to know quite a few Canadians.  With them, the added fact that we are from two different countries seems to lend us endless opportunities to make fun of each others culture.

Politics are generally avoided while remarks of "When is the US going to learn to play hockey?" and "I swore that Boston just beat the Canucks into a riot." are common remarks. One recent discussion ensued about home grown products.  "Canada doesn't export anything but snow and syrup, and they only make a profit from one of them." Which is shortly followed by "Well if you keep importing the snow from us like dummies, we will keep sending it."  Nothing is ever meant to hurt as I have enjoyed my friends from Canada.  "You know what I'm saying, eh?"

I have to say with some luck, I was able to have my friends C and T come out to visit my home in "The Middle of Nowhere, NJ".  Card games, great BBQ food, and late night s'mores roasting in the backyard made for lots of fun.  Helpful suggestions for upgrading the comforts of life made us feel like family.  C recommended to me upgrading my lawn furniture, from http://www.canadapost.ca/shopper/outdoor-patio-furniture/pc/40, while I taught his wife T how to BBQ American style. None of us slept til about four in the morning.

I was sad to see them go when they left the next day.  I can call them true friends.  I smile and laugh because of them on a near daily basis. The banter will continue, and I hope it always will, with my friends from over the border.

The Storyteller

When somebody touches your life as long a grandmother does there is little you can do to pay back or pay tribute to that person.  Is this an attempt to do so?  If it is, it will fall short as all such attempts must because the measure of eighty years of life cannot be placed on one small page.

No, I can only thank her for the efforts and influence she has had in my life.  I can thank her for the example she has been to me, my thirty plus years.  So I thank her for one of the many great things she has done for me in my life.  I thank her for being my storyteller.

I try to remember the first memories I have of my grandmother and I have to say they are pretty vague.  I remember climbing into her Nova and marveling at its size, this boat on wheels, and how it rocked to the sway of asphalt waves.  And I recall a few times being in the kitchen after she had cooked me eggs before the arthritis set in on her hands that still has yet to fully limit this high functioning chef.  These very fleeting fuzzy memories are more snapshots than true memories as they exist more as faded photos that have sat out in the sun than a digital pic on the LCD screen.  

The first true memory that I have, and my mind will never let go of, is sitting in my uncle’s basement and listening to Poe’s “The Pit and the Pendulum”.  The basement became my dungeon as she read.  The rough wool couch I sat on was like tattered rags on a prison floor.  The low lamp light fades as my grandmother’s airy wispy telling continues, the wind of her voice seeming to snuff out the light.  The humidity of the basement reflects the rank cell’s stagnation.  Every word she read to me brought me more into the macabre world that my whole family has read before I heard this first tale of horror.  This was far from the comfort of the Hardy Boys books I was used to reading. 

And as the heat of the climax was read and the story finished, my grandmother looked up and smiled her comforting smile returning me to the basement.  The prison door that seemed locked to me as she read was now opened and I was free to walk through it.  Except as I walked through the door, I did not exit out into the free world but into my own asylum.  Chained and bound having now experienced and tasted the wonders of a true master, not wanting to enjoy anything less than literary crème.  There was no doubting the power of Poe’s written works, but my grandmother, she became the master of my desire and near insane obsession for great writing since that day. 

We talk of the books we read now, though not as regularly as we used.  I have read more of Poe, plus Shakespeare, Stoker, Card, King, Doyle and others that are too many to list. But it was that day, the day I tripped and nearly fell into the abyss, the day I felt the rush of the blade as it swooped closer to me, that changed me.  It was that day that I was gladly locked into my own prison by my “Grammy”, the key in her keeping, so that I could enjoy that new world with each turn of the page. 

Asthma

I have to say I am pretty happy with my son and his choice to take care of himself.  My son suffers from asthma.  It is not an easy thing to deal with at times.  I am lucky that his acute spells are far apart.  Twice he has had to go to the hospital for it when he was younger.  Luckily for doctor's merchant accounts, I was easily able to pay off these visits.

My son's asthma kicks in most when he gets a cold or any other respiratory problem.  He knows to start his breathing treatments right away.  What really shocked me though was that when my son was given the option to have his flu shot as oppossed to being forced, he decided on his own to have it.  What kid wants a shot?

For this I am proud of my son that he chooses to take control of his health at an early age in life.  Many of us adults should follow this example.

Hangover Bridesmaids

The history of the friendships in my life is rather revealing as the company I keep generally tends to be female company over male.  This is not to say that I don’t have male friends.  In fact most of my hobbies and recreational time is spent in male majority company.  Yet my nearest and dearest friends do tend to be female.  Being divorced, I look back on how I would change or improve things if I had another go at being married.  I would like to have a nicer wedding and actually have a group of people standing next to me supporting me as I tie the knot.  Two movies, “The Hangover” and “Bridesmaids” have come out these past years making me wonder if I might actually have “groomsmaids” instead of best men due to my friendship preference. 
 

When hard times have hit me, there has always been a good female friend to be by my side as I struggled during my life.  I can’t thank them enough for the time and care they put into being my friend.  I don’t know if I can repay them ever.  I’m not bashing those guys that have stuck around.  But it is nice to know when things got tough, a female friend always invested the time needed. 

As with most of my writing, I keep names out of it.  Seeing “Bridesmaids” you get to see how some females can get upset if another female steps in to be friends.  I am not saying men can’t be jealous, because they certainly can be.   It is just my experience that females seem to feel threatened by others more than males.  The movie takes it to the extreme.  I just hope if/when the time comes and all my friends come together, they can do so in peace.  All my friends are great people.  You all have touched me in many ways that makes me care and love you.  Drunken drugged up pre-wedding parties with strippers and party favor puppies aren’t needed, especially if they will lead to fighting or me being trapped on a roof.  For once I hope to have a happy beginning in my life and that all my friends are there to witness it.

Hoarders

I appreciate the guest post, Lindsay Valdez

Ever since I invested in satellite TV I have been watching an absurd amount of television. I was never a huge TV fan before and got the satellite TV, that I got for the Cable television sports packages, mostly for my husband but now it has turned into a gift for both of us. My favorite show to watch on the satellite TV has to be the documentary show Hoarders. I use to occasionally watch Intervention but that got old fast. I work in a treatment facility and deal with addiction all day. It does not take long to be burnt out and start seeing every case the same. The show Hoarders is different though. I have never dealt with the mental illness of hoarding in person and only studied about it briefly in school. For those not familiar with the illness hoarding is exactly what it sounds like. It prevents people from getting rid of things and they acquire too much, sometimes to dangerous levels. Sometimes it is a general hoarding of things, old calendars, keepsakes, just things that you would throw out but something prevents from the getting rid of most anything. Other times the hoarding is very specific items. My favorite episode featured a woman who hoarded food. She was incapable of throwing away rotting and spoiled food and her home got so bad she was in danger of being evicted.

Photo Opportunity

I had an excellent teacher in high school that inspired me artistically.  And as I drive through my state or I'm out with the kids on a picnic, I see photo opportunities that he would've pointed out to me saying, "Don't miss that shot!". In fact, there is a farm not far from my house that I pass at least once a week with a tree in the field.  I hope one day to have the courage to knock on that farmer's door and ask if I could photograph it.  Yes, digital cams have their place, but if I want a good picture, nothing beats a nikon telephoto lens.  With one of these, I know I will get the great pic I envision in my mind.  I would have to go back each season, as the tree drastically changes due to its leaf cover.  I marvel at it every time I pass it.

And as I said, digital cams do have their place.  Being a single parent, occasionally you need to be able to record what happens at your home when you aren't around. A motion activated camera would definitely help in those situations.  Even when you are around,  these cameras are great for other events like surprise parties.  Lights come on and BOOM, the camera is rolling.  I can imagine my youngest son's smile as I capture it as he walks in the door.  The start of a great memory for him.

Of course then you get to pass around the video for everyone to watch and listen.  You can get so many laughs when you see the shocked looks on screen and with having clarion wireless headphones, it becomes easy to pass them around so everyone can listen.  His scream would have me laughing hysterically.

It is amazing to think how much easier life has become due to the new items at our disposal.  They enhance our memories so that we can relive them and more importantly, share them with our loves ones.

Return of an old (young) friend

She would kill me if I called her old, but I know that is how she felt when she saw my son who is now 11 years old. A boy that now is taller than her yet she used to diaper him during his baby years. Its great seeing her. We disagree on so many things. But its a love/hate relationship where I most certainly hate how much I love this person and would hate myself if I didn't love her. She was my right arm at some point in the past.  It is sad how we drifted apart when both our lives actually turned for the worse when we could have used each other most.

Yet it seems like the right time to refresh this friendship. Back like Evander Holyfield for another round of fun as we tackle our families,our different interests, and society as a whole. I'm glad to have you back my dear friend. You have been missed. I hope we can influence each other in the positive ways we did in the past.

My little girl

I can't believe its been five years since my daughter was born.  She kills me with laughter with everything she says.  Her vocabulary isn't normal and I love this.  She is never tired but "exhaustigated".  When I work in the garden, she reminds me, "Daddy... you are a dirty boy."  Not a night goes by that she doesn't want a story read to her in bed.  There is never enough kisses or hugs that I could give her as she wants them all, especially "whisker kisses" from my unshaven face.

I have three kids and love them all equally, yet "daddy's girl" is truly something different.  My sons are just like me and I see them growing up strong.  They love the outdoors, their games, and time together as family just like their dad.  When the "princess" walks in, the room changes as princesses can only change them.  Daddy has to do her hair.  Daddy needs to tie her shoes.  My mother was so happy that she had all boys but she can only live vicariously through me with my daughter.  How she envies me.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.  I know the dresses and Barbies are just what you want.

Death comes to an angel

Being a nurse, I see death come more often than most.  There are many patients whose lives I will touch and thankfully there are patients that touch my life as well.  I have been fortunate to meet one such lady.  She thanked me from the first day she entered my building to the last day she was there.  Strong of heart and weak of body in her last days, she was and still is an angel.

It is funny in some way.  Families and patients look at nurses and doctors as though we are fortune tellers.  They want us to be able to tell them when that final day will be.  It is sad to say we can never tell.  I've seen patients actively participating in the recreation room one day and die the next.  I have seen others long suffer for weeks without eating or drinking.  Each person is completely different. It becomes a mantra for health care workers as people desire to know when the end will come.  Families and patients understand this answer of how people are different. It makes sense. It is logical.

As this woman began to pass, the question of "when" began to come.  Yet how she asked was completely different than any other. She would ask me if she was going home today.  And though other patients that suffer from memory loss might ask the same question, she was aware of what she was asking me, thus referring to death as home.  I at first responded with the mantra that everyone was different until I realized that this answer was not going to quite work with her.  It was after a week I realized she wasn't asking about her condition.  She didn't really want to know the day.  She was looking for something more.

As the days past, our friendship grew.  I did all the things nurses do and it is not important to list them. I got the same question from her daily as I made my last rounds and I knew from her smiling at me, that what I said was the response she desired. Was she going home today she would inquire.  I would ask her if she was ready to go home.  She would reply no.  And so I would respond that I wouldn't let her go home yet til she was ready.  She would tell me that that was good but just to make sure that when the day finally came to tell her so she didn't spend the time waiting around here.  We would laugh at this daily.  After a few weeks of time, all her family was able to show up together for one big day with her.

The next day she asked me the same question as always as I made my final rounds. I replied, asking her if she was ready.  That day she told me yes.  I smiled.  She told me how she looked forward to finally going home now.  As I walked out of work that day, I knew it would be soon.  The following day, she had was no longer conscious.   I cared for her all day and before I left, I whispered in her ear letting her know not to wait for me to come back tomorrow, that she can go home if she wanted to now.

That night she passed.  It is hard to know what to say at this point. Death comes.  But before it did for this kind woman, she touched one more heart.

Live on and enjoy your home.  Thank you for your hospitality as you visited mine.

Parenting myself

I look at my oldest son, and like most parents, I see myself looking back into my eyes.  A hard worker, with occasional bouts of laziness.  An organized student, with paper scraps on the floor.  The logical minded thinker, unless being illogical becomes more suited in the situation.  And most importantly, the desire to have the approval of his family.  I see the hard work he puts in on a daily basis in school and the "A's" he brings home proves it. Though every child will complain to his parent about chores, my son is generally accepting of the tasks I give him.  His interests mimic my own with sports, books, the outdoors and games.  And in the end he only wants to hear three words, "I love you". 

My son is different than most as he is growing up without a mother in his daily or even monthly life.  A true disadvantage, even in this day and age of divorce.  Yet he has pressed on and worked hard with as little complaint that any preteen can muster to withhold.  We joke and laugh. We play and occasionally fight.  But my son, you truly brighten my day and lighten my soul because you are in my life.  So with this passing Valentine's day, as I make fun of us both being dateless, you are in my heart most of all.  Your father's love and gratitude is without limits when it comes to you.

Resolution already completed

A start to the new year now and though many make resolutions to improve in some way, I am just continuing the changes I made last year.  I guide my family with love and more time spent serving them than I ever did.  I see the benefits from this on a daily basis with the obedience of my children and the improvements they make in their lives.

The one big choice I made for myself last year that continues to be a struggle is healthy eating and weight management.  I was never called fat in my life.  Even at my heaviest, two hundred and twenty plus pounds, those around me would just tell me, "It's really only your belly". I believed this for the longest time.  Having made the choice last September to lose my belly, I can honestly say it was something greatly needed and it was definitely bigger than a belly problem.  My watch size shrank.  My shirt collar size is smaller.  I actually have a jaw line now.  Skin acne decreased.  I don't lose my breath on the stairs, which I didn't realize I did until I didn't lose it anymore.  And it is true, you really do have more energy to go out and do more things. 

I am forty pounds lighter on eating meat, veggies, high fiber and no sugar.  I have not weighed close to this since my athletic high school years. You might look back on my earlier posts and say, but you made all that stuff for Thanksgiving, how did you lose that weight and eat that?  I didn't eat it all.  I used small portions. I substituted in sweeteners for sugar, which was the only "unnatural" part of my diet but used the sweetener derived from sugar. 

It was the best choice I made for my own esteem. But it's my children that reap the benefit of this as we do more things now because "Daddy isn't tired anymore".  For those that have yet to do it, I implore you to eat smart. I did not starve myself.  I know different bodies do react differently to things.  I am a nurse and I know about nutrition.  I am sure you will have a reaction in some positive way by eating smart.  It might not be as dramatic as mine.  Without a doubt you will feel better and your family will benefit as well.