Hoarders

I appreciate the guest post, Lindsay Valdez

Ever since I invested in satellite TV I have been watching an absurd amount of television. I was never a huge TV fan before and got the satellite TV, that I got for the Cable television sports packages, mostly for my husband but now it has turned into a gift for both of us. My favorite show to watch on the satellite TV has to be the documentary show Hoarders. I use to occasionally watch Intervention but that got old fast. I work in a treatment facility and deal with addiction all day. It does not take long to be burnt out and start seeing every case the same. The show Hoarders is different though. I have never dealt with the mental illness of hoarding in person and only studied about it briefly in school. For those not familiar with the illness hoarding is exactly what it sounds like. It prevents people from getting rid of things and they acquire too much, sometimes to dangerous levels. Sometimes it is a general hoarding of things, old calendars, keepsakes, just things that you would throw out but something prevents from the getting rid of most anything. Other times the hoarding is very specific items. My favorite episode featured a woman who hoarded food. She was incapable of throwing away rotting and spoiled food and her home got so bad she was in danger of being evicted.

Photo Opportunity

I had an excellent teacher in high school that inspired me artistically.  And as I drive through my state or I'm out with the kids on a picnic, I see photo opportunities that he would've pointed out to me saying, "Don't miss that shot!". In fact, there is a farm not far from my house that I pass at least once a week with a tree in the field.  I hope one day to have the courage to knock on that farmer's door and ask if I could photograph it.  Yes, digital cams have their place, but if I want a good picture, nothing beats a nikon telephoto lens.  With one of these, I know I will get the great pic I envision in my mind.  I would have to go back each season, as the tree drastically changes due to its leaf cover.  I marvel at it every time I pass it.

And as I said, digital cams do have their place.  Being a single parent, occasionally you need to be able to record what happens at your home when you aren't around. A motion activated camera would definitely help in those situations.  Even when you are around,  these cameras are great for other events like surprise parties.  Lights come on and BOOM, the camera is rolling.  I can imagine my youngest son's smile as I capture it as he walks in the door.  The start of a great memory for him.

Of course then you get to pass around the video for everyone to watch and listen.  You can get so many laughs when you see the shocked looks on screen and with having clarion wireless headphones, it becomes easy to pass them around so everyone can listen.  His scream would have me laughing hysterically.

It is amazing to think how much easier life has become due to the new items at our disposal.  They enhance our memories so that we can relive them and more importantly, share them with our loves ones.

Return of an old (young) friend

She would kill me if I called her old, but I know that is how she felt when she saw my son who is now 11 years old. A boy that now is taller than her yet she used to diaper him during his baby years. Its great seeing her. We disagree on so many things. But its a love/hate relationship where I most certainly hate how much I love this person and would hate myself if I didn't love her. She was my right arm at some point in the past.  It is sad how we drifted apart when both our lives actually turned for the worse when we could have used each other most.

Yet it seems like the right time to refresh this friendship. Back like Evander Holyfield for another round of fun as we tackle our families,our different interests, and society as a whole. I'm glad to have you back my dear friend. You have been missed. I hope we can influence each other in the positive ways we did in the past.

My little girl

I can't believe its been five years since my daughter was born.  She kills me with laughter with everything she says.  Her vocabulary isn't normal and I love this.  She is never tired but "exhaustigated".  When I work in the garden, she reminds me, "Daddy... you are a dirty boy."  Not a night goes by that she doesn't want a story read to her in bed.  There is never enough kisses or hugs that I could give her as she wants them all, especially "whisker kisses" from my unshaven face.

I have three kids and love them all equally, yet "daddy's girl" is truly something different.  My sons are just like me and I see them growing up strong.  They love the outdoors, their games, and time together as family just like their dad.  When the "princess" walks in, the room changes as princesses can only change them.  Daddy has to do her hair.  Daddy needs to tie her shoes.  My mother was so happy that she had all boys but she can only live vicariously through me with my daughter.  How she envies me.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.  I know the dresses and Barbies are just what you want.

Death comes to an angel

Being a nurse, I see death come more often than most.  There are many patients whose lives I will touch and thankfully there are patients that touch my life as well.  I have been fortunate to meet one such lady.  She thanked me from the first day she entered my building to the last day she was there.  Strong of heart and weak of body in her last days, she was and still is an angel.

It is funny in some way.  Families and patients look at nurses and doctors as though we are fortune tellers.  They want us to be able to tell them when that final day will be.  It is sad to say we can never tell.  I've seen patients actively participating in the recreation room one day and die the next.  I have seen others long suffer for weeks without eating or drinking.  Each person is completely different. It becomes a mantra for health care workers as people desire to know when the end will come.  Families and patients understand this answer of how people are different. It makes sense. It is logical.

As this woman began to pass, the question of "when" began to come.  Yet how she asked was completely different than any other. She would ask me if she was going home today.  And though other patients that suffer from memory loss might ask the same question, she was aware of what she was asking me, thus referring to death as home.  I at first responded with the mantra that everyone was different until I realized that this answer was not going to quite work with her.  It was after a week I realized she wasn't asking about her condition.  She didn't really want to know the day.  She was looking for something more.

As the days past, our friendship grew.  I did all the things nurses do and it is not important to list them. I got the same question from her daily as I made my last rounds and I knew from her smiling at me, that what I said was the response she desired. Was she going home today she would inquire.  I would ask her if she was ready to go home.  She would reply no.  And so I would respond that I wouldn't let her go home yet til she was ready.  She would tell me that that was good but just to make sure that when the day finally came to tell her so she didn't spend the time waiting around here.  We would laugh at this daily.  After a few weeks of time, all her family was able to show up together for one big day with her.

The next day she asked me the same question as always as I made my final rounds. I replied, asking her if she was ready.  That day she told me yes.  I smiled.  She told me how she looked forward to finally going home now.  As I walked out of work that day, I knew it would be soon.  The following day, she had was no longer conscious.   I cared for her all day and before I left, I whispered in her ear letting her know not to wait for me to come back tomorrow, that she can go home if she wanted to now.

That night she passed.  It is hard to know what to say at this point. Death comes.  But before it did for this kind woman, she touched one more heart.

Live on and enjoy your home.  Thank you for your hospitality as you visited mine.

Parenting myself

I look at my oldest son, and like most parents, I see myself looking back into my eyes.  A hard worker, with occasional bouts of laziness.  An organized student, with paper scraps on the floor.  The logical minded thinker, unless being illogical becomes more suited in the situation.  And most importantly, the desire to have the approval of his family.  I see the hard work he puts in on a daily basis in school and the "A's" he brings home proves it. Though every child will complain to his parent about chores, my son is generally accepting of the tasks I give him.  His interests mimic my own with sports, books, the outdoors and games.  And in the end he only wants to hear three words, "I love you". 

My son is different than most as he is growing up without a mother in his daily or even monthly life.  A true disadvantage, even in this day and age of divorce.  Yet he has pressed on and worked hard with as little complaint that any preteen can muster to withhold.  We joke and laugh. We play and occasionally fight.  But my son, you truly brighten my day and lighten my soul because you are in my life.  So with this passing Valentine's day, as I make fun of us both being dateless, you are in my heart most of all.  Your father's love and gratitude is without limits when it comes to you.

Resolution already completed

A start to the new year now and though many make resolutions to improve in some way, I am just continuing the changes I made last year.  I guide my family with love and more time spent serving them than I ever did.  I see the benefits from this on a daily basis with the obedience of my children and the improvements they make in their lives.

The one big choice I made for myself last year that continues to be a struggle is healthy eating and weight management.  I was never called fat in my life.  Even at my heaviest, two hundred and twenty plus pounds, those around me would just tell me, "It's really only your belly". I believed this for the longest time.  Having made the choice last September to lose my belly, I can honestly say it was something greatly needed and it was definitely bigger than a belly problem.  My watch size shrank.  My shirt collar size is smaller.  I actually have a jaw line now.  Skin acne decreased.  I don't lose my breath on the stairs, which I didn't realize I did until I didn't lose it anymore.  And it is true, you really do have more energy to go out and do more things. 

I am forty pounds lighter on eating meat, veggies, high fiber and no sugar.  I have not weighed close to this since my athletic high school years. You might look back on my earlier posts and say, but you made all that stuff for Thanksgiving, how did you lose that weight and eat that?  I didn't eat it all.  I used small portions. I substituted in sweeteners for sugar, which was the only "unnatural" part of my diet but used the sweetener derived from sugar. 

It was the best choice I made for my own esteem. But it's my children that reap the benefit of this as we do more things now because "Daddy isn't tired anymore".  For those that have yet to do it, I implore you to eat smart. I did not starve myself.  I know different bodies do react differently to things.  I am a nurse and I know about nutrition.  I am sure you will have a reaction in some positive way by eating smart.  It might not be as dramatic as mine.  Without a doubt you will feel better and your family will benefit as well.